Hi,
Thanks for your response to 'The Indian Wedding'. I received some responses which said that the post was good but lacked an end. Through this post I wish to cross that bridge. I actually am going to try and reach a solution which can work out quite well and have the virtues of both the sorts of marriages.
In 'The Indian Wedding', I had given my views on how the 'arranged' and 'love' marriages fundamentally differ. To get the benefits of both, the family and the bride and groom have to work together to achieve desired 'output'. I can suggest 3 solutions here:
i. The two families try to work it out after the 'lovers' have decided to marry.
ii. After 'arranging' a marriage, the families give the boy and girl some time (around 6 months?) to know each other better.
iii. The lovers are from families that know each other for quite some time and are quite comfortable with each other.
Let us take each proposed solution and discuss them individually. First one is sometimes too good to be true but if it works out, I don't think anything could be better. The next one does not guarantee a solution, it is more or less like a prayer which may or may not come true. They will of course get to know each other and decide on what they feel about each other. But, ca the families wait for that long in an arranged marriage? Third one might be considered the safest. If you go down this path, you are most probably going to be happy yourself and also keep others happy. These are possible solutions I could come up with and as you see there is too much of 'chance' involved. So, get lucky!
Saturday, March 22, 2008
The Holi Fire
Hi,
Its too soon that I have come up with my second blog but I couldn't resist. As it is Dhulendi today(Holi-2nd day). I was at holi-pujan last night in our neighborhood and there was something I found not only disturbing but quite alarming. 10-15 houses in our neighborhood had come together to make a 'holika' out of woods and dried cow-dung. In the evening, when I had gone for a small tour of the local area, same was the case almost everywhere. People were celebrating in groups of 10-15 houses. In earlier days and a smaller town(Chandausi), I know that a single pyre of wood was made for a much larger group of houses. You might ask 'What's the problem?'. Problems are many, people are growing apart, one major feature of Indian society was its unity which is diminishing(atleast in bigger cities). But the issue I have in mind is wood. What happens when everyone starts celebrating a nuclear festival? More consumption of wood per person for the celebrations. The most alarming thing is that even though people do realize that the cost of wood is soaring, they make it a point to try and get as much fire-wood as possible(maybe as a status symbol). And what happened when they piled up woods in a heap? It took them an hour to get the fire going. There was no space for air(oxygen) for the combustion of woods. A much better model for the pyre would have been if the logs had been placed in concentric cones. It would have saved lots of wood, money and, of course, air. Another thing I might suggest is for everyone to go home and pray around their cooking gas at home. It is as holy a fire as you could get. It(LPG) is the one providing you with food now and not wood as was the case when logically people started to celebrate Holi for the ripening of Wheat crops. I am not against celebrating the festival, but one should realize that the situation when these festivals were started and now are wholly different. There lies no sense in burning the woods now and Holi is not the only festival in India to have this tradition of burning fire-wood. Wood is considered sacred but it is because it was the source of food, heat, comfort in older times. I would, of course, not suggest anyone to start considering petrol as sacred now. It would do to petrol what we have already done to wood and, directly as a result of it, to the forests. I don't think these thoughts of mine are going to start any change in 'traditions'(whether right or wrong, traditions are traditions and people do follow them) but I would like you to think and that is my work done for now. I will be back soon.
Its too soon that I have come up with my second blog but I couldn't resist. As it is Dhulendi today(Holi-2nd day). I was at holi-pujan last night in our neighborhood and there was something I found not only disturbing but quite alarming. 10-15 houses in our neighborhood had come together to make a 'holika' out of woods and dried cow-dung. In the evening, when I had gone for a small tour of the local area, same was the case almost everywhere. People were celebrating in groups of 10-15 houses. In earlier days and a smaller town(Chandausi), I know that a single pyre of wood was made for a much larger group of houses. You might ask 'What's the problem?'. Problems are many, people are growing apart, one major feature of Indian society was its unity which is diminishing(atleast in bigger cities). But the issue I have in mind is wood. What happens when everyone starts celebrating a nuclear festival? More consumption of wood per person for the celebrations. The most alarming thing is that even though people do realize that the cost of wood is soaring, they make it a point to try and get as much fire-wood as possible(maybe as a status symbol). And what happened when they piled up woods in a heap? It took them an hour to get the fire going. There was no space for air(oxygen) for the combustion of woods. A much better model for the pyre would have been if the logs had been placed in concentric cones. It would have saved lots of wood, money and, of course, air. Another thing I might suggest is for everyone to go home and pray around their cooking gas at home. It is as holy a fire as you could get. It(LPG) is the one providing you with food now and not wood as was the case when logically people started to celebrate Holi for the ripening of Wheat crops. I am not against celebrating the festival, but one should realize that the situation when these festivals were started and now are wholly different. There lies no sense in burning the woods now and Holi is not the only festival in India to have this tradition of burning fire-wood. Wood is considered sacred but it is because it was the source of food, heat, comfort in older times. I would, of course, not suggest anyone to start considering petrol as sacred now. It would do to petrol what we have already done to wood and, directly as a result of it, to the forests. I don't think these thoughts of mine are going to start any change in 'traditions'(whether right or wrong, traditions are traditions and people do follow them) but I would like you to think and that is my work done for now. I will be back soon.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
The Indian Wedding
Hi, welcome to my first ever blog. As it turns out, this is going to be on a topic which I have given much thought recently particularly because of the current wedding season and due to my own brooding over the topic. Still, my apologies, this article, being my first, might not be good enough to do justice to my views. I hope you do get a breeze of my thoughts. These thoughts deserve some credit to the Indian Railways too because these came to me on an 8-hour delayed train. Kudos to Lalu! Let me start with describing the issue here. I am writing on the current change in the way Indian marriages have been "arranged" over time and my perception of how they affect the Indian society.
Arranged marriages have been the norm for at least 3 generations past in India. Now, in light of greater interaction between the two genders at school/college/office the conservative Indian society is slowly opening up its petals. This coming change comes as all changes do, with a positive and negative side. As I said earlier, arranged marriages have been the norm in India. Now, as the workplace is "invaded" by the "other" gender(do not get me wrong here, I am not chauvinist), India sees a rapid change in its social ways. Love marriages are "the" trend. Is it for the right or wrong? I do not know. I will only say what I feel about it and let you brood on the rest. Earlier, an arranged marriage was not about just two people going through a sacred ritual. An arranged marriage epitomized two families entering a union. The bride and groom were supported by the bonding between families and their bond helped the families grow together. This bond between the two families came also from the trust as they came to know of each other through mutual and "trusted" contacts. This key aspect is somehow missed in most love marriages. While the two humans do share a stronger bond than was possible in an arranged marriage, the families do not exactly come together. In my view, this is mainly due to the fact that most love marriages do not take into account the mutual compatibility of the two families while they do take into account the compatibility of the 'lovers'. Now, this mutual compatibility of the lovers was not a 'pre-requisite' in arranged marriages. So, effectively, we have arranged marriages where we have a 'reinforced' bond and we have love marriage where we have the simple and strong bond. So, technically, we might also consider this as comparing sigma and pi bonds. So, which is better? A marriage which holds on despite rifts among husband and wife or a marriage which breaks for minor issues. I, for one, do not know. These arguments, however, are very generalized and do not really even touch the surface of issue. I would like you to think over the issue further. I can point out one more way the two ways of marriage affect society. The joint family and nuclear family. I leave it up to you to think further because I am bored of typing now and will move on to watching a movie :).
Lastly, a request to all of you. Those of you who liked my article, please do praise me, I would like to get high-headed and if you don't you will not get any opportunity later. Those who did not like it, the onus lies on you to counter my high-headed-ness. For your questions/advice/neutral comments do contact me. For girls, I would like to believe in love marriage. :)
Arranged marriages have been the norm for at least 3 generations past in India. Now, in light of greater interaction between the two genders at school/college/office the conservative Indian society is slowly opening up its petals. This coming change comes as all changes do, with a positive and negative side. As I said earlier, arranged marriages have been the norm in India. Now, as the workplace is "invaded" by the "other" gender(do not get me wrong here, I am not chauvinist), India sees a rapid change in its social ways. Love marriages are "the" trend. Is it for the right or wrong? I do not know. I will only say what I feel about it and let you brood on the rest. Earlier, an arranged marriage was not about just two people going through a sacred ritual. An arranged marriage epitomized two families entering a union. The bride and groom were supported by the bonding between families and their bond helped the families grow together. This bond between the two families came also from the trust as they came to know of each other through mutual and "trusted" contacts. This key aspect is somehow missed in most love marriages. While the two humans do share a stronger bond than was possible in an arranged marriage, the families do not exactly come together. In my view, this is mainly due to the fact that most love marriages do not take into account the mutual compatibility of the two families while they do take into account the compatibility of the 'lovers'. Now, this mutual compatibility of the lovers was not a 'pre-requisite' in arranged marriages. So, effectively, we have arranged marriages where we have a 'reinforced' bond and we have love marriage where we have the simple and strong bond. So, technically, we might also consider this as comparing sigma and pi bonds. So, which is better? A marriage which holds on despite rifts among husband and wife or a marriage which breaks for minor issues. I, for one, do not know. These arguments, however, are very generalized and do not really even touch the surface of issue. I would like you to think over the issue further. I can point out one more way the two ways of marriage affect society. The joint family and nuclear family. I leave it up to you to think further because I am bored of typing now and will move on to watching a movie :).
Lastly, a request to all of you. Those of you who liked my article, please do praise me, I would like to get high-headed and if you don't you will not get any opportunity later. Those who did not like it, the onus lies on you to counter my high-headed-ness. For your questions/advice/neutral comments do contact me. For girls, I would like to believe in love marriage. :)
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